I have had a difficult time writing, so my therapist and I figured art would be a good outlet. So I drew this bulbasaur. Bulbasaur is my absolute favorite pokemon, I think they are so adorable and I just love the design. For Christmas in 2025 my siblings got me a bulbasaur plush that is actually quite big. I like to think of it as a real life bulbasaur sometimes :)
Please click on the image to see it with better quality. I am still unsure how to post images on this blog and make them look nice.
I've been drawing quite a bit lately.
This last one is more of a vent, to express how I feel trapped by anxiety and paranoia and fear. Like I can't do anything at all.
I talked to my therapist, which was helpful. She suggested talking with my psychiatrist and also to consider going to support groups with my family for mental illness. So now I'm going to be bringing that up with my family.
Another thing is I have to learn to trust other people. That they can manage their emotions and their problems, and I don't have to take over responsibility for their problems. It is hard to not do this, because it's something I've been doing for nearly a decade, at least. I can be a little controlling in that way, because I am so anxious people I love are going to get in trouble, or feel stressed, or just plain do it wrong. But I have to let that go. I don't want to be in my seventies one day feeling like I didn't live my own life, that I spent my life in service of others without any care for myself. Ugh. These feelings are hard. The paranoia has been less present, at least. Still a looming feeling of dread and anxiety, but I don't feel like people are going to hurt me all the time now.
Now that my school semester has finished and I am on winter break, I have to find things to do to keep myself busy. That's one of the ways to keep myself from falling into a motivation-less depression spiral. On Sunday I simply rested, read a bit of Nancy Drew: Nancy's Mysterious Letter, and I watched quite a bit of YouTube. YouTube is one of the only social media websites I can't go without. I also drew some stuff. I haven't drawn in a while, but I wanted to get that feeling of accomplishment after finishing a piece. This drawing is of my cat character, who I named Iris but is mostly just me, and the theme I chose was "love". I sketched it in pencil, then lined it with India ink and a calligraphy pen, then colored it with colored pencils. I really enjoyed the process. I'm trying to get more comfortable with inking my work because I enjoy it, but it is much easier to make mistakes with ink and I get really overwhelmed when I make a mistake on something I really want to be good. I'm a bit of a perfectionist at times
I really wasn't focused on anatomy or anything when I was drawing, I was just drawing what felt good. Also I'm unsure what size of photos works best on this website. What looks the best, from a reader's point of view. I never know if my photos are too big or too small.
Yesterday I also found my thrifted copies of Shonen JUMP. I have one magazine from August of 2011, and three from 2006. I was never really interested in the manga in these magazines (I guess the manga I am most interested in is Naruto), but I like to flip through them sometimes. Honestly I am more into shoujo manga, but I don't have any copies of the Shojo Beat magazines. I would like to subscribe to more manga magazines, but that art form feels lost in America these days.
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timeasmymeasure
