Some drawings the last few days

[junesleep]

I've been drawing quite a bit lately.

This last one is more of a vent, to express how I feel trapped by anxiety and paranoia and fear. Like I can't do anything at all.

I talked to my therapist, which was helpful. She suggested talking with my psychiatrist and also to consider going to support groups with my family for mental illness. So now I'm going to be bringing that up with my family.

Another thing is I have to learn to trust other people. That they can manage their emotions and their problems, and I don't have to take over responsibility for their problems. It is hard to not do this, because it's something I've been doing for nearly a decade, at least. I can be a little controlling in that way, because I am so anxious people I love are going to get in trouble, or feel stressed, or just plain do it wrong. But I have to let that go. I don't want to be in my seventies one day feeling like I didn't live my own life, that I spent my life in service of others without any care for myself. Ugh. These feelings are hard. The paranoia has been less present, at least. Still a looming feeling of dread and anxiety, but I don't feel like people are going to hurt me all the time now.